Curiosity, Thoughts and Whatever...
I'm not a regular blogger just occasionally wanna share some thoughts and ideas to the rest of the world. Hope you like what you see and written.....:))
Well, this year I feel less lonely and out of place accompanying my parents to perform Qing Ming. I felt very much alone last year. Perhaps the fact that my brother is not around and also a small family atmosphere is slowly rubbing it all in. I still do wonder what other people or family does ? I don't have many friends who perform Qing Ming. In fact I find most of them are more or less Chinese than I am. I mean the tradition is that the guys or the male in the family are to perform Qing Ming......a ritual to pay respect and visit our ancestors. With that the question of where does women or female stand are next raise ?
If a woman are married into the guy family, she has to accompany her husband to perform Qing Ming. Therefore this raises the issue of what if a family doesn't have any boys or only a single heir ? It would be very quiet and difficult. Sometimes in a family issue its good to have a few opinion though not all should make conflicting opinion. I do wonder what if.....this and what if that ? Its kind of tough being alone helming a one man show all the time. Many occasion I have seen family with large sibling helping one another and creating a happy family go lucky atmosphere. OK, I notice I am a little bit deviating from the original intention. Let me explain a bit on the history and tradition regarding this Qing Ming occasion. I have heard that its all about being a filial son and whoever visit are bound to be struck by enormous luck, prosperity and wealth. Therefore, the female in the family are 'prevented' from visiting the grave of their parents and etc. The luck and wealth are not supposed to be shared and it is mean only for the male in the family. Hmm........kind of bias action which had been in practice for century and I wonder when all this are going to be change ?
For example, on my recent visit last week, there was this group of large family gathering right next to my grandfather tomb. One of the man was very friendly and try to make small talk with us. The stuff that they bought to pray and offer to the other world make ours look minuscule and small in comparison. Well, Qing Ming wasn't a time to make comparison or to see who's wealthiest but I can't help notice and make observation about them.
I think they are all businessman. They are ok though a little bit on the extravaganza. What I could not accept was their attitude towards the dead. They were more concern with trying to get some lucky numbers and making prediction for striking stake sweep or 4-digit. Worst still was they bought along their maid........in fact I saw 2 Indonesian maid and they were helping out with the preparation etc. So my guess was that they are from a wealthy businessman background. The man then proceeded to advice us on the things we should do to improve the tomb and getting rid of trees growing on the stone and etc. He also advice us to "buy" Taiwanese grass and spread the seed all over the area so that nice beautiful grass will outgrow those wild glass. I was just thinking what makes him think it will work cause as far as we are concern, nice grass will never outgrow nor overlap those wild grass. Wild grass are born to stand the tough environment condition hence their namesake. Nevertheless, I wasn't about to break it into him. Though theoretically its a failure, we wouldn't know what would really happen in the cemetery. There might me miracle or magic.......:)). My dad and I just kept quiet.
Next was another neighbour which was much more quiet than us. An old couple in their mid 50's was cleaning and clearing all grasses and trees. The lady sound very educated and etc with her English. My mom smile at her and both of them started making small talk as well. She was complaining how nobody was around to help them out and they are from a small family only. My mom ask her how many kids they have and where are there. To my astonishment, she told my mom she has 3 kids. Wow.......3 children and they dare said "small" family............my family lagi lagi small size la. She told my mom all her children not free with work and commitment. I mean what kind of commitment or work you can have on a Sunday morning. Even if ....her son was a chef.......it still doesn't give them the right to shed responsibility. Its Qing Ming.....which means something...........to pay our elders respect and also to be a filial son, grandson and etc.
Besides what I had mention I notice Qing Ming this year had been a little bit grand. I have seen many many weird "present" and "gifts" to the other side of the world. From passport, porn video CD, exotic bra, Rolls Royce, computers, Windows XP and etc..........u name it and those seller would have it. Its a big business and I think its a huge industry itself if you include China, HK, Taiwan and etc. I am not sure what those seller are going to release for next year.
If a woman are married into the guy family, she has to accompany her husband to perform Qing Ming. Therefore this raises the issue of what if a family doesn't have any boys or only a single heir ? It would be very quiet and difficult. Sometimes in a family issue its good to have a few opinion though not all should make conflicting opinion. I do wonder what if.....this and what if that ? Its kind of tough being alone helming a one man show all the time. Many occasion I have seen family with large sibling helping one another and creating a happy family go lucky atmosphere. OK, I notice I am a little bit deviating from the original intention. Let me explain a bit on the history and tradition regarding this Qing Ming occasion. I have heard that its all about being a filial son and whoever visit are bound to be struck by enormous luck, prosperity and wealth. Therefore, the female in the family are 'prevented' from visiting the grave of their parents and etc. The luck and wealth are not supposed to be shared and it is mean only for the male in the family. Hmm........kind of bias action which had been in practice for century and I wonder when all this are going to be change ?
For example, on my recent visit last week, there was this group of large family gathering right next to my grandfather tomb. One of the man was very friendly and try to make small talk with us. The stuff that they bought to pray and offer to the other world make ours look minuscule and small in comparison. Well, Qing Ming wasn't a time to make comparison or to see who's wealthiest but I can't help notice and make observation about them.
I think they are all businessman. They are ok though a little bit on the extravaganza. What I could not accept was their attitude towards the dead. They were more concern with trying to get some lucky numbers and making prediction for striking stake sweep or 4-digit. Worst still was they bought along their maid........in fact I saw 2 Indonesian maid and they were helping out with the preparation etc. So my guess was that they are from a wealthy businessman background. The man then proceeded to advice us on the things we should do to improve the tomb and getting rid of trees growing on the stone and etc. He also advice us to "buy" Taiwanese grass and spread the seed all over the area so that nice beautiful grass will outgrow those wild glass. I was just thinking what makes him think it will work cause as far as we are concern, nice grass will never outgrow nor overlap those wild grass. Wild grass are born to stand the tough environment condition hence their namesake. Nevertheless, I wasn't about to break it into him. Though theoretically its a failure, we wouldn't know what would really happen in the cemetery. There might me miracle or magic.......:)). My dad and I just kept quiet.
Next was another neighbour which was much more quiet than us. An old couple in their mid 50's was cleaning and clearing all grasses and trees. The lady sound very educated and etc with her English. My mom smile at her and both of them started making small talk as well. She was complaining how nobody was around to help them out and they are from a small family only. My mom ask her how many kids they have and where are there. To my astonishment, she told my mom she has 3 kids. Wow.......3 children and they dare said "small" family............my family lagi lagi small size la. She told my mom all her children not free with work and commitment. I mean what kind of commitment or work you can have on a Sunday morning. Even if ....her son was a chef.......it still doesn't give them the right to shed responsibility. Its Qing Ming.....which means something...........to pay our elders respect and also to be a filial son, grandson and etc.
Besides what I had mention I notice Qing Ming this year had been a little bit grand. I have seen many many weird "present" and "gifts" to the other side of the world. From passport, porn video CD, exotic bra, Rolls Royce, computers, Windows XP and etc..........u name it and those seller would have it. Its a big business and I think its a huge industry itself if you include China, HK, Taiwan and etc. I am not sure what those seller are going to release for next year.
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