Curiosity, Thoughts and Whatever...
I'm not a regular blogger just occasionally wanna share some thoughts and ideas to the rest of the world. Hope you like what you see and written.....:))
I am very frustrated. I am lost for words. I am sad and I am very depressed. I don't know why and how it had escalated to such a tirade of shouting and shouting. It was just a matter of confirming who is who had gone to my kid classes. That's all.........nothing more. Yeah I had no recollection of the other family going to the classes last week. So just because of this, she got frustrated and went into destruction mode ......launching a tirade of shouting matches and imitating a crazy woman antics. I just can't understand why she has to do that. It is so irritating so ....inhuman........so unwomanly.........and so scary. She neither care for the kids nor care how the kids would see and hear all this. Its like she has lost all sense and control of herself. I am really at a lost. How can a sane person do this kind of thing. I am really worry. She has been demonstrating this unstable condition for the 2nd time now and every time it is worst than the first.
I try to look for the fault of my own. Well, I am well conscious and my conscience tell me she was already piss off with me the moment she came home. She had gone to have her hair trim and came back 15 min past 7. I was home and helping my dad settle his computer. I was trying to scan his computer for viruses, fixed some bug and make his computer work faster. If I don't help him who else is going to help him. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just trying to do something I felt important and hence thought boiling and kids bottle was just secondary and wasn't that important. Nevertheless, she came home with her face red and temp rose subsequently cause we need to send the elder one to classes at 8 pm. We eat then she bath the kids and etc........just in the nick of time. Its was hectic and chaos. So is it my fault ?
I already gave my opinion a few month back to get a maid in order to enlighten our job load at home and hence she didn't want to listen. She didn't want to take the risk, didn't want to take care of the maid, didn't want to worry about the maid and issues that she might causes. So there you have it. She never listen to me and she just doesn't appreciate me. She has no common sense, no human skill intelligence and stubborn. I can clearly see that all my kids have to same trait as her.........stubbornness. Never want to listen to me or anyone no matter what you said or promises. You just have to do it his/her way and if not they will just cry, go ballistic and burst into hysteria. Same common trait exhibited by their mother. I just don't know why she can't see herself in the mirror and realise the kids are a total replica of her ?
Yeah, I am a sensitive guy and I have my pride and I have my opinion. Nevertheless, I also have common sense. I felt I was a bit harsh and if only I could swallow the whole episode and spit it out later then maybe the whole commotion would not have happen and escalated into full-scale war. I am disappointed and a bit sad that my kid saw me arguing with her. I lost it and couldn't help it and had to shout back cause she had totally lost her mind and beginning to go hysteria and kept shouting that I don't trust her.........it was going on and on and on. I totally lost it too. My fault. I am worry how all this are going to reflect on my kids in the long term. Their emotional quality and character and etc. I hope they will forget about this and move on and not haunt them when they grow up later in life. I am really disappointed. There is no words to describe my disappointment that the woman that I love had lost the plot and gone insane. I worry she might have some nerve problem and some wired in her brain got entangled........hence.............just look at those problematic family cases......those that go suicidal with the children and etc...............I am beginning to understand more and realise their situation. Its scary.........it just doesn't make sense. Only recently there was a financial manager who went suicidal with his kid and everything seem so rosy and cosy from a different angle. I make some observation on that case but couldn't pinpoint why on earth a sound and sane man would do such a thing to his own family. Now I know..........some people cannot take lots of pressure and when that pressure rises above the red line and the wired get entangled they go hysteria and become suicidal. After and above the red line, no matter what cock, sense and reasoning you try to put forward ..................its all futile. It just got short circuited.
Hopefully time can heal, calm the storm and undo the entangle wired. I pray and hope that she can really think and have some senses back. Wish god can help her to gain her common sense back and improve her well being......especially her IQ and EQ.
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